Mar 14, 2017
This is not the first, and will not be the last article written about this apparent ‘line’ between one’s workplace and home. However, as it is something I have battled with for ten years (the entirety of my professional working life!), I thought I would get pen to paper and share my tips for this common challenge that may be able to help others.
1. Let’s talk about it…. or not
For anyone who knows me professionally or otherwise, will not be surprised that my immediate feelings around being ‘open’ are that I wear my heart on my sleeve and every problem or issue I have must be shared. You know the saying, a problem shared is a problem halved and all. When discussing work-related or even personal difficulties with the appropriate person in your company is perfectly fine (and in my books ‘normal’), you may be at risk of having the adverse effect on your family member.
Now, when I say adverse, I do not mean “don’t share with your loved ones”. However, I think that old chestnut of ‘how was your day dear’ could evoke emotions in both parties which may not always be positive. I know that if I have had a fantastic day, saturated with positive meetings and outcomes, I cannot wait to share that with my husband, who then himself smiles. We both then rejoice in our marital bliss! However, if I feel the stress creeping over and do an entire emotional dump onto him as soon as I walk through the door, as you can imagine, the evening becomes fraught with a tinge of resentment.
What I have found works best is changing out of work attire (as I always believe your dress reflects that persona you are portraying) and into an old maternity t-shirt size 18, unwind, and then calmly chat through what may be on my mind and look for solutions rather than depicting problems.
2. Focus on the now
It’s all well and good when people say ‘just throw yourself into work, and it will take your mind off…’, But in reality, can this happen? Lists may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I find putting pen to paper (returning to the Stone Age I know) allows thoughts to be gathered. This, in turn, will allow you to focus on the now, whether that be at work or home.
When your focus has been locked in, a knock on effect takes place. Productivity increases, allowing you to finish duties promptly and feeling less stressed. All are wrapping up nicely for a 5 pm finish, which I’m sure the family will be more than happy about! For more helpful tips to help you to leave the office at a reasonable time have a peek at this blog which has been helpful HERE.
3. Work Hannah or home Hannah?
Now I must have spent 8 of my ten years in employment (and many teenage years) trying to figure out effective ways to manage and reduce stress. As I have an hour long journey to get into the office, I pick out a particular point in my journey (which happens to be a wedding shop with rather horrific dresses in the window!) This point is roughly halfway into my journey, and that is where I will allow myself to look at my work emails and calendar preparing for the day ahead. Similarly, I will use this point on my way home to completely switch off and focus on my personal agenda (as I have a 2-year-old this often mirrors the prep I do for work!)
I always believe that I live to eat rather than eat to live. This can also apply to work. Some people live to work, where work is all consuming- which may induce high-stress levels (well it does for me). Alternatively, others may work to live where monetary value is the only reason they work. I believe a happy medium is where one should be, where work is enjoyable, but there is also a definite line where work ends and personal time starts. As I mentioned, I enjoy foods of all kinds and see life as a time to take full advantage of all types of delicacies. However, there also has to be a line where conscience and health come into play-otherwise that over-sized 18 old maternity t-shirt I mentioned earlier would not be so oversized!
4. myPhone
I think we can safely say that technology appears to rule the world. Whether that be a laptop, tablet, television or mobile, everyone is connected by one degree of separation due to the technological phenomenon. Communicating work expectations to your direct manager is essential for everyone to know when you will be available for professional activity. Communication at home is also key. However, if expectations are managed at work and at home, any conflict or disappointment will almost definitely be avoided.
5. What are my priorities?
Finally, and the most important point in my eyes is understanding what are the most important aspects of life. This apparently includes both career and personal life, but perhaps they need to interlink.
As discussed earlier in the blog, I find articulating and physically writing down what is important to me allows me to focus and stay on track with what I am doing. Taking time out and sitting with your partner/family and only writing what the 5 top goals you want out of the year will allow you to both understand what is important to you and your family. Similarly, this should be done at work. This is a lot more common practice on businesses than it is in a personal aspect.
I hope this small glimpse into my life and what I have found works for me, gives you something to try in your situation, and any additional tips are always welcome – I am always on the look out!
